Visiting My Mom

By Dwayne Clark, CEO on August 3, 2008 9:27 AM

I feel like I have been close to my mom my whole life. After moving out and going to college, I probably talked with her three times a week by phone. She was always the one I would call when something special occurred in my life. Mom would come to visit me wherever my career took me. She would stay a week and we would visit, it was just enough, enough that we would get on each others nerves.

Over the years, I would probably see her two or three times a year. Our phone calls continued. This is the way my life with my mother was for 25 years. Then life changed and she moved into Assisted Living. I saw her 4-5 times a week the first few months after she moved in. I never wanted to be one of those bad family members that dumped Mom off and never came back to visit. I had a complete disdain for them and my mind would race with all kinds of judgments about those people.

But after a few months, my visits with Mom began to dwindle. I would visit her about three times a month. We scheduled it so some family member sees her multiple times a week. I would have Mom visit me in my home as well. I can make all kinds of excuses about my schedule and how busy I am; tell you why it is logistically impossible to see her 4 times a week, but those are excuses. I share this with you because I am sure many of our family members struggle with this demand.

I wonder… is this enough visits to be deemed a good son? I see mom about 20 days a year. That’s more then I used to growing up, but I still wonder, should I be there more? Now, I have less judgment about those family members who don’t visit so often.

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