Releasing Her

I had a conversation with my sister a few days ago after a visit with mom. I described her condition, her absence, her complete lack of awareness.

My sister who cared for my mom for 30 years then made a statement I never thought would come out of her mouth. “I think it is time to let her go.” I was shocked by this comment but proud of my sister for saying it. She certainly has more history with mom then anyone, having lived with her for 40 years and being her primary caregiver.

I didn’t know how to respond. When do we let our parents go; when do we let them go onto something better then the life they have here? I am not at this place. I am selfish and want mom around for me. Even though she can’t communicate with me and doesn’t recognize me, I can’t let her go just yet. I don’t know that I will ever be unselfish enough to say ok mom, I am releasing you to go to a better place.

I remember one of my good friends telling me how he visited his mom at the hospital and had a conversation with her. She wanted to pass, so he got at peace with this and “released her,” as he put it. He said he felt very much at peace. I think when a person gets dementia you wonder what they want. I wonder.

So for now,I prepare for mom’s 87th birthday in May and pray for more.

One Comment

  1. Anonymous
    Posted March 21, 2010 at 5:06 pm | Permalink

    That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard a son say about his Mom. It is Ok to hold on for selfish reasons for now. Join Mom in her journey if she still laughs and smiles and enjoys her day enjoy it with her. I hope someday my son has the love and care for me. As a parent we all do our best to be a good parent and to be told later in life we did a good job makes a Mom smile. Our Prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

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