I think as we age, we forget the little things that were so simple when we were younger. My grandson, Andre, was over the other night. I was reading him a book on manners at 7:23 pm and we were having a grand conversation about it. At 7:25 pm, he was fast asleep on my lap. Wow, that happened fast. It was so simple when you were little; you got tired and just went off to Slumberland. Even when I was in college studying late for tests, I would doze off in my sweats and wake up hours later with my head resting in a cheese pizza.
But as we age, getting to sleep becomes much more difficult. My pre-sleep ritual now feels like a NASA preflight checklist. It takes time….
First my dental hygiene, I have to brush and floss to help avoid the onset of Alzheimer’s from nasty plaque amalgams. Then, I have to clean my bite guard that protects me from biting down like a wide badger during the night. Next, I decide if my daily workout was sufficient to warrant a couple of Advil to relieve my aching muscles. Then the pillows (oh god, the pillows) I have an obsession with them. Our bed looks like a sea of marshmallows with all of the pillows that I have. My preference is to sleep with 6-7 in various spots. There is an art to stacking pillows in just the right way, kind of like a rock mason building an incredible fence. You have to find a nice base pillow, hard and stable and then stack based on a degree of fluffiness. God forbid that I do the reverse and it feels like I am sleeping on a Firestone Wide Oval. Then, I must decide if I have a leg pillow, you know the ones that go between your legs when you sleep on your side, so your back won’t hurt. Last, the Chosen Pillow which I call “the Hugger,” it is another way of saying a grown man can’t sleep with a big stuffed animal. So I call it a Hugger. My wife often vetoes the hugger as it minimizes spooning opportunities.
As I get done with this time consuming ritual, I look over and see it is now two hours later than when I started…..boy, no wonder I am tired!