It’s the Day…

10/26/10

It’s The Day.

Today is the day I have feared since I was a little boy. At 7:50am this morning, my mother, Colleen Mary Callahan Clark passed away. She was 87 and had lived with dementia for 8 years. I have wondered what this day would be like for me. I thought I was ready but you are never really ready.

Mom had been in a severe decline the last 48 hours. By Sunday at noon we brought family in from up and down the west coast to honor her and say goodbye. Her last few hours were horrible for me, her lungs filled with liquid and she struggled to breathe. My sisters Linda and Edweena sat dutifully at her bedside night and day. She had 21 loved ones with her in her last 24 hours.

I did not want to see mom in this condition. I didn’t want to be haunted by her struggle, her gaunt cheek bones and discolored skin. We called a priest in to give her last rights. When he came I decided to go in. He gave a short yet profound speech. I kissed mom and told her I loved her and that she could go.

I so loved my mother, I know that sounds trite and silly but I loved her to her core. She was my sole inspiration in life and the pain I feel today is overwhelming at times.

The natural inclination of people is to say she is old, she was sick, she is better off. As much as that sounds rational it is not medicating my grief.

Some may ask, why would you write a blog so soon after your mother died. This blog has helped many people, it has allowed those who suffer because of Alzheimer’s to bond together and know we are not alone in our journey. People have emailed me from around the country to thank me for sharing. Today I need their help in my healing.

I want my mom to live on in a legacy. I want people to know how fearless she was, I want them to know how lovely she was and I want them to know that she walked this planet in her own way.

My mom was my hero and I miss her terribly.

Thanks to all of you for your support.

Feel free to email me at: Dwayne.Clark@aegisliving.com

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