Deep Sleep

I wanted to see mom as it had been two weeks since traveling out of the country. I had dreamt about her the night before. I walked in and she said, “Good to see you my son, you look good, have you lost weight.” The have you lost weight part was a standard greeting in our house. It was like “Hello, would you like something to drink…..but instead it was “Hello, have you lost weight?” I think my family thought it was a compliment, it just reminded me that I needed to lose weight.

So I find mom, asleep in her chair, I try all my best techniques, I call out to her in her childhood name…”Callou, it’s Dwayne are you there?” Thinking she would capture her childhood name in the caverns of her long term memory. No response. Then I tried humor. ”Mom, it is Dwayne your favorite, youngest, male son whose name is Dwayne.” No response. Then I tried to bribe her,”Mom I brought you cheesecake and curry and rice.” But still no response.

She looked to be in a deep sleep. The crevices of her face puffing in and out as I heard the breaths brushing through her lips. I steady her face, her lips look slightly blueish. My mind wanders as I wonder if she will never say my name again, even “My Son.” She wakes and mumbles something, her eyes pop open for 2 seconds and then slowly close as if on an automated hinge.

I grab her hand and warm it with mine, she so loved this when she was cold. For now she sleeps and dreams of a better life and I dream of where this will all lead.

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